tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63016120505172014132024-03-05T05:10:40.878-08:00Malt Gone WildMalt Impostorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04860373738510066868noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301612050517201413.post-2960537747352649142013-03-17T13:16:00.000-07:002013-03-17T13:16:45.243-07:00The Bushmills Black Bush (750 ml flash mob enabler)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBga7xP7WAvQZR-Gdmt8JChfyRdZNMyf0aN17Xg3XG9kSb-xZDqO-nR6yi1lQZV7VjaS-9ZD91QhB30yEEtZTmSYOkfOpm_-n7Jw4mCB1gE5XSUbjE_31uGV_iRRwnFFRP_7oMdYs0kOQ/s1600/Bushmills+Black+Bush.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBga7xP7WAvQZR-Gdmt8JChfyRdZNMyf0aN17Xg3XG9kSb-xZDqO-nR6yi1lQZV7VjaS-9ZD91QhB30yEEtZTmSYOkfOpm_-n7Jw4mCB1gE5XSUbjE_31uGV_iRRwnFFRP_7oMdYs0kOQ/s640/Bushmills+Black+Bush.JPG" width="286" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-size: medium;">Tasting notes:</span></i></span></span><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br />
The nose smells like the comely corner barmaid after she drenched her torso in Bushmills Black Bush. Fragrant heather body wash, a firm pair of purple peeled grapes, and the electrostatic discharge of a vintage 1980s VCR running smokin' old classics. I get closer, like a man walking into a shrubby grubby valley, exuding a fresh loamy scent like a moist furrow just ploughed by a sharp, fierce iron blade pulled by a miniature buffalo (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anoa" style="text-decoration: none;">a lowland anoa</a>, <i>Bubalus depressicornis</i>). </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> On the mouth, it's like passionately and ardently kissing the comely corner barmaid while she's immersed in a bathtub filled with Black Bush, after she gargled Black Bush. It's as smooth as the line I dropped at the bar, prompting: "I never go h<span style="font-size: medium;">o</span>me with patrons, or patrones," she said with a saucy wink, her curly springy glossy raven hair shining like liquid triply-distilled <i>brea</i>–yup, that's Spanish for tar–as she pressed her generous, generous portions of whiskey on me.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> The finish goes down like a ripe luscious banana flambéed in Black Bush. [<b><i>John:</i></b> That's what she said!] Like long, lascivious licks of pairs of vanilla beans cured in fino sherry. It's like Black Bush poured on a pair of over-ripe and bruised juicy honey dew melons, and burying my face in them as I drink from the saturated sweetness of the hollow left by carefully, tenderly, and gently scraping out the seeds and pulp. It's like a copper-shafted arrow (with a heart-shaped steel-tipped head) penetrating deeply into a black bush of damp pussy willow (<i>Salix discolor</i>). It's like being in the end of broad innuendo on a broad with Black Bush.</span></span><br />
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<b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Rating:</span></b></div>
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--On the scale of endings to Alfred Hitchcock movies--<br />
<b>The Bushmills Black Bush is <i>the ending to North by Northwest</i>--That is, it's a train inexorably and single-mindedly steaming into the entrance of a tunnel that's surrounded by dark hedges. </b></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="white-space: pre;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="white-space: normal;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> --<span style="font-size: medium;">Bill</span></span></span></span></span></span></i><br />
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<br />Malt Impostorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04860373738510066868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301612050517201413.post-56380587233177204272011-10-24T17:15:00.000-07:002011-10-24T17:24:43.825-07:00The Ron de Jeremy Rum!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSTfGssAWs2pZu7bDmF88yr9f5LSgv5mbNOvBI44J8pYCjeBDKJ6QO2xGq_SzBMPx9WdZxkMNBsmnXCmYYGvYvo1EdWRIbe33-FUY3aIj1aiB3qmEeF6CrvflO1AaMZvLkiQuXnZf075k/s1600/Ron+de+Jeremy.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSTfGssAWs2pZu7bDmF88yr9f5LSgv5mbNOvBI44J8pYCjeBDKJ6QO2xGq_SzBMPx9WdZxkMNBsmnXCmYYGvYvo1EdWRIbe33-FUY3aIj1aiB3qmEeF6CrvflO1AaMZvLkiQuXnZf075k/s320/Ron+de+Jeremy.JPG" width="235" /></a></div><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><i>Tasting notes:</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">We couldn't pass up the opportunity to use this new "actor" available on our favorite do-it-yourself animation site, <a href="http://xtranormal.com/">xtranormal.com</a>. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">On xtranormal:</span></span><br />
<a href="http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/12592021/malt-gone-wild-the-ron-de-jeremy"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/12592021/malt-gone-wild-the-ron-de-jeremy</span></span></a><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">On YouTube:</span></span><br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlS0So1sWB4"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlS0So1sWB4</span></span></a><br />
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/FlS0So1sWB4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"> <i>--Stephen</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Our thanks again to <a href="http://www.masterofmalt.com/">Master of Malt</a> for the sample! Hope you guys don't hold this one against us!</span></span><br />
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</span></span>Malt Impostorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04860373738510066868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301612050517201413.post-21222374610651188472011-06-10T15:54:00.000-07:002011-06-10T15:54:45.176-07:00More Untoward, Lewd, Rude Content Coming Soon!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf7PvwVmDMTgZfwlo3wzmqHym-FvExP5q-qVlmhWxorPsZ3PwqzmVGXjKw1yWaeMxXXOqZYk_FFcIhaSXglSb-cms5zoRYMq3mxuJFrr6KI-vCBrH8USY3A-QjecEuOW4Fz-YSvmec8oU/s1600/MaltGoneWild1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf7PvwVmDMTgZfwlo3wzmqHym-FvExP5q-qVlmhWxorPsZ3PwqzmVGXjKw1yWaeMxXXOqZYk_FFcIhaSXglSb-cms5zoRYMq3mxuJFrr6KI-vCBrH8USY3A-QjecEuOW4Fz-YSvmec8oU/s400/MaltGoneWild1.jpg" width="235" /></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjwwExvspk_C-_s5ypZbNU_UVMhh5l0ukD2WAxlkdsjNYZh-PoJS2QmF6CZMOlFlTUEXfBrr6OJaJnF0iKC88wTXCr4oLb24Gfi3gOKLq9vxw8W4QukYW_kmB_cUkh4holUvDYzT6iAXc/s1600/MaltGoneWild2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjwwExvspk_C-_s5ypZbNU_UVMhh5l0ukD2WAxlkdsjNYZh-PoJS2QmF6CZMOlFlTUEXfBrr6OJaJnF0iKC88wTXCr4oLb24Gfi3gOKLq9vxw8W4QukYW_kmB_cUkh4holUvDYzT6iAXc/s400/MaltGoneWild2.jpg" width="257" /></a><br />
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